HOPE Part II: When your life doesn't go as planned

I'm sure you've heard the saying, "If you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans." Does that mean we shouldn't plan? I don't think so. But our desire to live life according to a plan not willed by God can lead to heartbreak, brokenness and defeat. When things don't go as planned, we sometimes ask ourselves, "why is this happening to me," or "what did I do to deserve this?" The truth is, God's word tell us that "all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purposes.” (Romans 8:28)

 We all have a unique calling on our life; a purpose that no one else can fulfill in the Kingdom. Most of us spend our whole lives searching for our purpose. Mark Twain once said, “the two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” But what if you're so driven to fulfilling your own plans that you leave no room for God to show you his will for your life? If you don't take time to sit, listen and seek, how will you ever be able to hear his voice and see his signs? 

That's what happened to me. Please read on for the second part of my current blog series. HOPE Part II: When your life doesn't go as planned.

My whole life I was raised to have goals. I was a first generation college student; my dad finally completed his degree when I was 16, but I was the first person in my family to graduate high school and immediately go onto a four-year university. Frankly, I felt a lot of pressure; I'd go on to be the only member of my family to take a traditional path to education. It was very important to my parents and became very important to me. I was so driven to get the next 'A,' plan for the next class and set myself up for success. Before long, I didn't need anyone else to hold me accountable. I knew what needed to be done.

That drive has taken me very far in life; so far that I believe it became an obstacle to seeing God's plan for my life. Thanks to all my hard work, I graduated college in 3.5 years. Because of an internship my senior year, I landed a full-time salaried position three months after graduation. I was on my way! Education, check. Job, check. In the middle of college I met my now husband. He proposed a month after I started my job. Fiancé , check! We got married 1.5 years later.

Life was grand! Now, I had a husband who liked plans, too. We decided before we got married we wanted to wait 5 years before trying to start a family. Seems reasonable, right? But what I didn't allow for in my life and marriage was for Jesus to truly take the wheel (thanks to Carrie Underwood I'm now singing that catchy song in my head). I always kept God at an arm's length. I only ever put enough trust in Him so I wouldn't be too disappointed when things didn't happen. I didn't fully understand God's grace and desire to bless us until much later.

Five short months into our marriage, I found myself suffering a miscarriage; it was the most traumatic thing I've ever experienced. I was in the middle of a stressful season at work and didn't even realize I was pregnant until I lost the baby. I was on the pill (plan) and had been taking antibiotics for a UTI. I just wasn't expecting it. But God was trying so desperately to reach me. I just didn't listen.

Flash forward over the next 4 years and two more miscarriage. I had begun to pray fervently. I was unhappy at work. I was stressed, exhausted and at the end of my rope. My husband was self-employed, working long hours. I had this nagging feeling to go see another doctor. It wasn't just intuition, God was pulling at me. See, he'd been trying to get my attention for years, ever since I gave my heart to him when I was 16 and confessed Jesus as my Lord and Savior. But I wasn't ready to SURRENDER my plans to God.

But guess what? I was on the verge of breakthrough.

It was nearly my five-year wedding anniversary. BABY TIME!!! I found a new gynecologist since I had this feeling (the Holy Spirit) to change doctors. I made an appointment and was ready to have a baby. At that visit in July 2012, my new doctor diagnosed me with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, an endocrine disorder that can cause ovarian cysts, making conception and pregnancy difficult (my miscarriages). Left untreated, it can lead to serious health problems including heart disease and diabetes. But, all I heard was an answer (thank you Jesus) to my miscarriages and for the first time had HOPE that motherhood may not be impossible.

Please join me next time for the continuation of this series. Thanks for reading!

HOPE Part I

Did you ever want something so badly that you would stop at nothing to get it?  Whether it is a material thing, a relationship or something intangible (i.e. peace, freedom), we all have goals, dreams and visions of our future.

I was baptized as a baby, but I have been seeking God all my life.  I really started to pursue a relationship with Jesus in my early 20s, when a lot of young women and men are searching to find who they are. One scripture that I have always clung to, whether I was walking closely with the Lord or bumbling my way through life, hanging on by a thread, was Jeremiah 29:11.

It has become my family's scripture, the one my husband and I pray out loud, in the quiet, together and alone.  It really sums up what we all need to make it in this crazy world: HOPE. Placing my trust in God to guide me and help me navigate life was the best decision I ever made.  It doesn't make things perfect, but it makes life enjoyable. 

This scripture has a particular place in my heart as it relates to my hopes and dreams to become a mother.  In the 'About Me' section of my blog, I talk a little about my road to motherhood because it was the catalyst for a lot of big changes in my life.  The news of my health troubles and infertility led to me making big changes in my life spiritually, physically, mentally and emotionally. The greatest joy to come out of my journey to motherhood has been my relationship with Jesus.  

I'm going to unfold a story to you over the next few months.  It is a story of grief, brokenness, heartache, trust, redemption, love, friendship and of course, HOPE.  I pray you will follow my blog as I share a very personal but important story, one that changed the course of my entire life and led me to a place I hope each and every one of you finds.  

My greatest wish for you is that you find your purpose and embrace the man or woman God created you to be, for you to have hope and a future.

Yours in health,

Coach Steph

What does healthy mean?

To many of you, this may not mean much.  But these numbers have helped me redefine my own meaning to the question, "what does healthy mean?"

Flashback to July 2012: I was 28 years old and weighed the most I ever had in my entire life, 270 lbs. Aside from the weight, my blood pressure was 140/90.  My fasting blood glucose level was 120.  The number above represents nearly 4 years of hard work including exercise, a complete overhaul of my eating habits, and most importantly, a mental shift in the way I think about health and fitness.

I, like most people, always determined how healthy I was based on two numbers: my weight on the scale and my BMI.  I'm not saying you shouldn't pay attention to those numbers, but I want to challenge you to add a few more into your health profile.

Do you know...

• your resting heart rate?
• your fasting blood glucose level?
• your blood pressure?
• your body fat percentage?
• your heart rate recovery time?

If you answered 'no' to any or all of the above questions, I challenge you to seek out your health care provider and a certified personal trainer to help assess what your numbers are.  Getting a total picture of your overall health includes all your numbers.  

When you are armed with information and knowledge, you can start to form a plan as to how you want to improve your health. Your number one goal shouldn't always be to lose weight.  Fat loss is a bonus by-product of living healthier.  When you know your numbers, you can begin to define, "what does healthy mean" for yourself.

Yours in health,

Coach Steph

Why the 2016 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue is important

I'm a certified personal trainer. My job is not to make people shrink.  My job is to educate my clients and help them reach the goals they set for themselves. Not everyone's goals are the same.  My goals are not your goals and vice versa.  So why am I bringing up the SI swimsuit issue?  I could write at length about this topic, but I'm going to just share a few things.

Why the 2016 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue is important:

1. As a woman who has battled disordered eating, bullying (now we call it fat shaming), yo-yo dieting and poor self worth for most of my life, the three very different women on this cover represent a societal shift.  It represents that the perceived standard of beauty and sexiness is starting to change.  Sidenote: the editors and marketing team realized this would create buzz.  Let's get down to it: it's all about money. If these covers entice people to buy magazines, then the gamble paid off.

2.  Health is a lifestyle, not a size.  I don't know a lot about Hailey Clauson.  I have followed Ashley Graham's career for about a year.  I've been a Ronda Rousey fan for 6+ years.  I have watched and read about Rousey's lifestyle and nutrition.  She is healthy, athletic and beautiful.  Ashley Graham exercises on a regular basis, enjoys a diet of balance and moderation and is beautiful.  Though I don't know a lot about her, Clauson is also a beautiful woman.  All three of these women make a living off their appearance.  To say that Rousey and Graham are not healthy because they don't look like Clauson is an ignorant statement. What does their blood work, blood pressure or resting heart rate look like?  Those are really the biggest measures of our health, not how we look in a bathing suit.

3.  Making a decision to lead a healthier lifestyle is major.  Losing weight, gaining muscle, training for an endurance race or simply improving your eating habits are all challenging in their own way depending on the person.   I can tell you that for a lot of my weight loss clients, the biggest battle I help them face is what's going on between their ears.  Overcoming what we see in the mirror and think about our bodies are two of the biggest obstacles in reaching health goals.  Don't minimize the effect of what seeing a woman who "looks like you" on the cover of a magazine might do for a woman's self esteem.  (anyone remember wanting to look like Cindy Crawford, Kathy Ireland or Hannah Davis and realizing that may never happen?)

4. No one has the right to tell you what your body should look like.  It's your choice.  The kind of lifestyle you want to lead will have an impact on what your body looks like.  Hailey Clauson's body works for her career.  Ashley Graham's body works for her lifestyle and career.  Ronda Rousey has made her living on having muscle, strength and stamina.  Who are we to say 'your body isn't good enough?'

I could go on forever about this topic.  If you want to discuss further, leave a comment.  I welcome the dialogue, but no body bashing.

Trainer Tip: Working the Back without Weights

It can be tough to build your back muscles without access to a gym and weights.  Here are some exercise ideas for working the back without weights.

Upright Band Row

Band High Pull

Band Lat Pull

Add these into your routine to build a strong and beautiful back!

xoxo,

Coach Steph

What I learned from a new runner

I consider myself an experienced runner.  I've been running since I was a kid.  My dad bought me my first pair of Brooks when I was 10 years old, and we would go on short runs together.  Now as an adult, it's a passion we share together.  We sign up for 5ks, 10ks and 15ks.  We run for fun. We run for beer. We run to de-stress.  We run to hang out. 

My dad is a seasoned runner. He started running cross country in ninth grade.  He's built for it.  His running form is effortless.  I'm training one day to pass him in a race. 

 

I'm a certified personal trainer, wellness and lifestyle coach. I made a career change three years ago and dedicated myself to learning everything I could get my hands on about programming, weight loss, proper lifting form, powerlifting and conditioning (learn more about my background here).  I have a lengthy client roster and am developing a niche helping women find their worth and love themselves through fitness.  

It took a friend who is new to running to teach me about fitness, life and the sport I have loved for years.  So, I want to share with you what I learned from a new runner.

1. The basics are everything, and you're never to old, experienced, knowledgeable, etc. to learn or relearn them.

No matter how long you've been doing something, you can always learn something new.  I realized I needed to work on my stride after my first long run with my friend, and that's ok.

2. Taking a step backward is sometimes necessary to move forward.

Sometimes going 'back' can teach you a lot.  Don't be afraid to reassess where you are and where you want to go.  Goal-setting is imperative.  Make a goal worth reaching.

3.  Celebrate all the victories.

While on a run this past week, I was doing a lot of talking about form, time and training goals.  It winded me, and I just couldn't catch my breath. I was frustrated because I fell behind the group I was running with.  When I checked my running app at the end, I realized I had shaved a whole minute off my average mile pace.  That's huge! So I congratulated myself.  My friend shaved 1.5 minutes off her time.  We hugged about that, too!  If you wait until the 'end' of the journey to celebrate, you'll miss some pretty amazing things along the way.

4.  Remember why you started running, exercising, living healthier, etc.

Getting excited about having new friends to run my favorite 15k with, I started scrolling through old photos on Facebook (because no one prints and makes photo albums anymore LOL).  I saw a photo from my first 5k 3.5 years ago.  I remembered I had to walk most of the way because I was so de-conditioned.  My dad was right there with me, encouraging me. I ran my second 5k five months later. I ran the whole way, not stopping.  It was a great reminder that I started all of this to just get healthier.

I dedicate this blog post to my new friend, Loretta.  Thank you for allowing me to coach you.  Your friendship is so special to me.  See you on the running route.

xoxo, 
Coach Steph 

Leave Kim Kardashian Alone!

Did I get your attention?  Let me clarify: I'm not a Kim K. fan.  However, I do think she is a beautiful and intelligent woman.  Building an empire on no talent?  That takes a brain!  But, I digress.  That's not the point of this post.

Leave Kim Kardashian alone!

Why, you ask?  She had a baby four days ago;  a beautiful boy named Saint West (I'm embarrassed I know that). After FOUR days, the media is already circling like sharks after blood in the water: WHEN WILL SHE LOSE THE BABY WEIGHT?

It's been FOUR FREAKING DAYS!! 

Photo of Kim from her Instagram account on the day she gave birth.

In case you didn't know, she should be focused on bonding with her baby, nursing, sleeping (haha), snuggling and just enjoying her little miracle (all babies are blessings).  Yet, the media is salivating over the photos of her post-pregnancy figure and speculating when (or if) she'll be able to slim down.  They are comparing this pregnancy to her last one; commenting on how much weight she gained with baby Saint as compared to baby North.  

Are you kidding me????

According to the March of Dimes, the leading authority on maternal and infant health, new moms should focus on healthy eating and adequate sleep postpartum.  They also recommend to follow the advice of your physician before beginning an exercise program.  Additionally, if you're breastfeeding, your nutrition is twice as important.  Now, I don't know Kim K's plans on breastfeeding, but right now, just like every other new mom, she should  be focused on self care and baby bonding, not throwing herself into extreme dieting and frantic exercise.

Quoted directly from the March of Dimes website:

Many of today's Hollywood moms get back to their original figure in record time. When you see how great they look, you may feel pressure to drop the baby weight quickly. But it's not a race to the skinny jeans. Focus on living a healthy lifestyle, and the rest will fall into place.

Exactly my thoughts! Listen up ladies, I'm going to get real specific here:

A healthy of lifestyle of balance is your best strategy for long term weight management. Additionally, it's not all about the scale.  Your body fat percentage, how you feel, measurements, blood pressure, resting heart rate and blood sugar are all great ways to measure progress with any program, whether your goal is to lose or gain (muscle, fat, strength).

You heard it straight from a certified personal trainer with a long roster of healthy and happy clients: focus on balance and everything will take care of itself.  

Additionally, loving your post-baby body, no matter how it looks, is very important.  It's going to look and feel different.  But, you carried life and that is a miracle.  Rejoice! Thank God for your baby.  Don't dwell on the superficial.  Just focus on taking care of that baby and yourself.  As a woman who has struggled with fertility, I would trade all my workouts, runs and deadlift sessions to hold a healthy baby in my arms.  Embrace your body.  Love yourself.  Don't stress out over the pounds and don't shame or pass judgement on other women.  We need to lift one another up and encourage each other.  Be kind, and you can start by telling the haters and nosy reporters to LEAVE KIM KARDASHIAN ALONE!

Yours in health,
Coach Steph