A different kind of post

This is a different kind of post. I started to post this to Facebook, but it got a bit lengthy, so my blog was a better outlet.  I pray you'll take the time to read about something that is near and dear to my heart.

I was washing dishes earlier today, and the TV was on in the background. It was Law & Order SVU, a show I have watched a million times; one you have probably watched many times. This episode was about a child neglect case where a little girl died from severe malnutrition, found in a dog crate. She was left there by her drug-addicted mother because she wouldn't stop crying and therefore did not deserve to eat. The case worker was charged in the case for falsifying home visit reports. He was overworked, his colleague was out on maternity leave. He had double the amount of clients as usual.

Now, maybe I'm just particularly sensitive about the subject, but as a woman, a mother not yet materialized, and someone praying for a child in the foster care system, I ask each of you to say a prayer with me tonight.

Pray for foster parents and temporary guardians who are doing their best to stand in the gap. Pray for parents trying to get their lives together. Pray for potential adoptive families who are waiting for their child. Pray for case workers, therapists and coordinators, who are doing the best they can with the limited resources they have and the overwhelming number of families to serve. Pray for attorneys and judges for wisdom to discern and decide what's best for these kids. Pray for the advocates who give a voice in court to these children. And most of all, pray for the children in the system through no fault of their own.

The child welfare system was never meant to shoulder the burden of the magnitude of children and families it supports. We as the body of Christ have to do more. It starts with prayer, but I know we can all do something. I'm not saying you have to foster or adopt; that's a very specific calling. But, I'm asking you to search your heart. What can you do?

Here is the national adoption website with info on how you can help.

http://www.adoptuskids.org/adoption-and-foster-care/overview/ways-to-help

Blessings,

Coach Steph

xo

HOPE Part III: If God is for us, who can be against us?

When I sit back and think about my journey to motherhood over the last 8 years, I am humbled. I can see God's hand all over my life; orchestrating, molding and crafting a beautiful symphony.  If this journey were set to music, I can actually hear the changes in tempo and melody in my head. It hasn't always been this way, but the beautiful thing about knowing God and having a relationship with Jesus is that you can have peace and joy in the midst of circumstances that seem hopeless.

Please read on for the continuation of my blog series, HOPE Part III: If God is for us, who can be against us?

Four years ago, I received a medical diagnosis for a condition called PCOS or polycystic ovary syndrome.  It explained my miscarriages, the weight gain after discontinuing the use of hormonal birth control, my high blood sugar and so many other symptoms, including cysts on my ovaries that my gynecologist informed me would make conception the old-fashioned way difficult for me and my husband.  I felt strongly that God had led me to this new doctor, who actually listened to me and confirmed I wasn't crazy when I thought something wasn't right with my body.  He referred me to a reproductive endocrinologist, a fertility specialist, who might be able to help.  

The funny thing about getting answers in the natural is that sometimes we read into it.  For me, I thought to myself, "is this from God?" That question should always be the first one we ask, but we should also to pray and meditate about it.  More often than not, God will show us his will through multiple signs, occurrences and people.  But God also uses disappointment, struggle and defeat to get our attention. It's not cruel, vengeful or malicious, but it's love.  He knows us, He created us and He knows exactly what it will take to get our attention.  

The six months following my diagnosis were heartbreaking.  I had four failed fertility treatments. My marriage was strained.  I was still trying to control the outcome, but God had other plans.  He kept whispering to me to leave my job.  I questioned God's command, "How could I leave my job?  My awesome insurance was paying for fertility treatment.  I must be crazy!"

I had been in prayer more than ever before; not knowing how to give up control but knowing I needed to let God move the pieces. God was trying to get my attention. One of the ways he does this is through a restless spirit (Esther 6:1-14). I knew something had to give.  I was miserable, and I worked for a non-profit that focused on maternal and infant health.  It was a daily reminder of my failure to become a mother.  I had been interviewing for lots of jobs, but nothing was panning out. And then came two different signs.  

My husband told me to just quit and we'd figure it out. Money would be tight, but we'd be ok.  And then, a good friend hopped in my car as I was leaving my office one day. She told me that she was serious about hiring me away. She owned a small business, a fitness center, and knew that I'd be an asset (she'd been saying that for four years).  She couldn't pay me what I was earning, but she offered me partnership, controlling interest and the opportunity to build a dream with her. 

I prayed about it and talked with my husband.  This would be the perfect opportunity to focus on my health and wellbeing.  So I jumped in with two feet, not really knowing the path my life was getting ready to take. For the first time, I was fully confident that with God on my side, there was nothing I couldn't do.  

Romans 8:31 NIV
What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?

HOPE Part II: When your life doesn't go as planned

I'm sure you've heard the saying, "If you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans." Does that mean we shouldn't plan? I don't think so. But our desire to live life according to a plan not willed by God can lead to heartbreak, brokenness and defeat. When things don't go as planned, we sometimes ask ourselves, "why is this happening to me," or "what did I do to deserve this?" The truth is, God's word tell us that "all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purposes.” (Romans 8:28)

 We all have a unique calling on our life; a purpose that no one else can fulfill in the Kingdom. Most of us spend our whole lives searching for our purpose. Mark Twain once said, “the two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” But what if you're so driven to fulfilling your own plans that you leave no room for God to show you his will for your life? If you don't take time to sit, listen and seek, how will you ever be able to hear his voice and see his signs? 

That's what happened to me. Please read on for the second part of my current blog series. HOPE Part II: When your life doesn't go as planned.

My whole life I was raised to have goals. I was a first generation college student; my dad finally completed his degree when I was 16, but I was the first person in my family to graduate high school and immediately go onto a four-year university. Frankly, I felt a lot of pressure; I'd go on to be the only member of my family to take a traditional path to education. It was very important to my parents and became very important to me. I was so driven to get the next 'A,' plan for the next class and set myself up for success. Before long, I didn't need anyone else to hold me accountable. I knew what needed to be done.

That drive has taken me very far in life; so far that I believe it became an obstacle to seeing God's plan for my life. Thanks to all my hard work, I graduated college in 3.5 years. Because of an internship my senior year, I landed a full-time salaried position three months after graduation. I was on my way! Education, check. Job, check. In the middle of college I met my now husband. He proposed a month after I started my job. Fiancé , check! We got married 1.5 years later.

Life was grand! Now, I had a husband who liked plans, too. We decided before we got married we wanted to wait 5 years before trying to start a family. Seems reasonable, right? But what I didn't allow for in my life and marriage was for Jesus to truly take the wheel (thanks to Carrie Underwood I'm now singing that catchy song in my head). I always kept God at an arm's length. I only ever put enough trust in Him so I wouldn't be too disappointed when things didn't happen. I didn't fully understand God's grace and desire to bless us until much later.

Five short months into our marriage, I found myself suffering a miscarriage; it was the most traumatic thing I've ever experienced. I was in the middle of a stressful season at work and didn't even realize I was pregnant until I lost the baby. I was on the pill (plan) and had been taking antibiotics for a UTI. I just wasn't expecting it. But God was trying so desperately to reach me. I just didn't listen.

Flash forward over the next 4 years and two more miscarriage. I had begun to pray fervently. I was unhappy at work. I was stressed, exhausted and at the end of my rope. My husband was self-employed, working long hours. I had this nagging feeling to go see another doctor. It wasn't just intuition, God was pulling at me. See, he'd been trying to get my attention for years, ever since I gave my heart to him when I was 16 and confessed Jesus as my Lord and Savior. But I wasn't ready to SURRENDER my plans to God.

But guess what? I was on the verge of breakthrough.

It was nearly my five-year wedding anniversary. BABY TIME!!! I found a new gynecologist since I had this feeling (the Holy Spirit) to change doctors. I made an appointment and was ready to have a baby. At that visit in July 2012, my new doctor diagnosed me with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, an endocrine disorder that can cause ovarian cysts, making conception and pregnancy difficult (my miscarriages). Left untreated, it can lead to serious health problems including heart disease and diabetes. But, all I heard was an answer (thank you Jesus) to my miscarriages and for the first time had HOPE that motherhood may not be impossible.

Please join me next time for the continuation of this series. Thanks for reading!

HOPE Part I

Did you ever want something so badly that you would stop at nothing to get it?  Whether it is a material thing, a relationship or something intangible (i.e. peace, freedom), we all have goals, dreams and visions of our future.

I was baptized as a baby, but I have been seeking God all my life.  I really started to pursue a relationship with Jesus in my early 20s, when a lot of young women and men are searching to find who they are. One scripture that I have always clung to, whether I was walking closely with the Lord or bumbling my way through life, hanging on by a thread, was Jeremiah 29:11.

It has become my family's scripture, the one my husband and I pray out loud, in the quiet, together and alone.  It really sums up what we all need to make it in this crazy world: HOPE. Placing my trust in God to guide me and help me navigate life was the best decision I ever made.  It doesn't make things perfect, but it makes life enjoyable. 

This scripture has a particular place in my heart as it relates to my hopes and dreams to become a mother.  In the 'About Me' section of my blog, I talk a little about my road to motherhood because it was the catalyst for a lot of big changes in my life.  The news of my health troubles and infertility led to me making big changes in my life spiritually, physically, mentally and emotionally. The greatest joy to come out of my journey to motherhood has been my relationship with Jesus.  

I'm going to unfold a story to you over the next few months.  It is a story of grief, brokenness, heartache, trust, redemption, love, friendship and of course, HOPE.  I pray you will follow my blog as I share a very personal but important story, one that changed the course of my entire life and led me to a place I hope each and every one of you finds.  

My greatest wish for you is that you find your purpose and embrace the man or woman God created you to be, for you to have hope and a future.

Yours in health,

Coach Steph