HOPE Part VI: Putting my agenda on the shelf

It's funny how God weaves this masterpiece we call life.  This blog series has chronicled a part of my spiritual journey.  It all started with me saying yes to God; yes to a whisper in the quiet. Yes to the voice that now speaks so clearly I don't know how I went so long without listening.  Please read on for the final installment of this series.

HOPE Part VI: Putting my agenda on the shelf

Through all the heartache I have been through, the miscarriages, tears, anger, fear and frustration, it was all for this desire to be a mother; a desire God planted in my heart. Romans 40:3 NIV says, "He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him."

God made me a mother.  I have felt lost, alone and aimless on this journey.  God knew I needed someone to clarify his path for me; to explain the new "song" and desire of my heart. He sent me a friend. Her name is Brittany.

I decided once again to start tracking my menstrual cycles, thinking maybe now that I had lost all this weight and had my blood sugar under control that a baby was possible.  I downloaded an app to keep track of all the pertinent information.  Brittany and I met through an online message board attached to the app for women trying to conceive.  I was looking for a "cycle buddy" who was health-conscious and fit. We matched up and instantly became friends.  We rode the "trying to conceive" rollercoaster.  She was a newlywed.  I had just celebrated my 7th wedding anniversary.  We bonded over daily discussions about nutrition, exercise and husbands.  We texted every day.  We consoled one another monthly as the pregnancy tests came back negative. She was a light in the dark; a confidant other than God who understood my plight.  I was a safe place for her and continually had hope that she would conceive.

After nearly a year, Brittany was losing hope.  I continued to encourage her, pray for her and speak life over her.  And then it happened.  She got the good news!  I was so happy for her. She couldn't believe it. And then once again, I was alone.  The relationship changed.  It was bound to happen. We tried to carry on as normal.  The texts became a little less frequent.  I asked questions about her life and days. She did the same.

Then one day I heard God's voice very clear.  He told me to go to the baby shower. "What? Are you serious?" I literally asked that aloud to God during prayer and devotion one morning.  But the voice was clear.  So, I asked Brittany if I could be included on the guest list, and of course she said yes.  I had never met this person or her husband, but they invited me to come stay in their home.  I was not scared at all. I knew God had ordained this relationship, and I was excited to meet my friend for the first time and support her through this amazing life moment.  But, to say that my heart was not scared would be a lie.

I was still struggling with my lack of pregnancy and motherhood.  I prayed to God to help me put on a brave face and be genuinely happy for my friend. This was all about her. But God had my heart wrapped in his loving embrace.  Below is my journal entry after my first night in their home before the baby shower that afternoon. I have never shared this with anyone.

April 23, 2016 - I woke up this morning to the sun shining through my window.  The birds are chirping. What a glorious alarm clock. Thank you, God! Genesis 1:20 - And God said, "Let the water teem with living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the vault of the sky." Such a heavenly reminder of God's love for me. I am where I'm supposed to be. I feel the embrace of my heavenly father.   

Brittany and I at her baby shower.

Lord, I pray for Shawn and Brittany as they prepare to become parents.  I pray for their marriage. Hebrews 13:21 [may God] equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.

God gave me the perfect scripture today.  He is so good. Thank you.  I could not have imagined that trying desperately to have a baby would lead me here. 

That morning I worshipped in the privacy of my guest bedroom.  I cried, I prayed, I praised.  God brought me so much peace.  The trip was amazing. It solidified a lifelong friendship. It brought me closure. That weekend, I put my agenda on the shelf, and I stepped into God's plan for motherhood.

Epilogue:
One month after returning from that visit, my husband and I enrolled in a class to prepare us to adopt a child from the foster care system.  God had been speaking to us about this decision for months.  We now walk boldly into the future.  As of right now, we are waiting for certification from the state.  We pray, in God's perfect timing, that our child will be in our home, and our family, soon.  

Thank you for following my series and allowing me to share God's awesomeness with you. I pray you are encouraged. Please stay in touch! I hope you'll return for more posts about Freedom, Faith and Fitness!

I also want to speak personally to you, the reader; the one who this resonates with.  The one whose story is similar.  The one who's lost babies.  The one who's never been able to conceive.  The one who wants more children.  The one who's your sister, daughter, wife, mother or friend. If this spoke to you in any way, I want to say something very specific: God sees you. He hears you.  He knows you're struggling, hurting, frustrated, angry, bewildered and sad. I'm here to tell you that God cares for you, he loves you, and he is for you. Whatever road you've walked that led you here to read this blog, there is a God big enough to handle all your burdens.  I'm praying for you tonight.

Blessings,
Coach Steph

HOPE Part V: Blessings come when we walk in obedience

When I answered God's call to leave my brick-and-mortar business to serve women on a deeper level, I had no idea what I was doing.  And 5 months later, I still have days where I feel like that. But I knew God had been equipping me and preparing to grow His kingdom and serve His people, I just didn't know how it would look.  But, that's the beautiful thing about saying YES to God.  We don't have to have all the info to say yes. That's what FAITH is all about.

Please read on for part five of my blog series.  HOPE Part V: Blessings come when we walk in obedience

Hebrews 11:1 NIV "Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see."

Yes.  God was telling me to go.  I was asking how.  He was saying do.  

I heard Christine Caine say more than once that God is not looking for ability but availability.  He is looking for people who will say yes.  If you feel like you're not ready, learned or knowing, then YES, God wants you! He is looking for people who will say yes to His voice.

When I publicly announced I was leaving my business, I had one private client.  I was TERRIFIED! I had lots of skills, knowledge and experience, but there was no longer a safety net.  I was all on my own (with God, of course).  But I kept pressing, praying and working.  

One week before my last day in my old business, my ONLY client texted me.  She couldn't renew her fitness training.  She so badly wanted to but just couldn't financially continue.  Now I had no clients.  But God's voice was still there.  "Trust me," He said.  So I did.

One month later I had 10 clients.  Five months later I have 15 personal training/fitness coaching clients and a growing network marketing business.  I am the corporate fitness trainer for a start-up nutrition and wellness company.  I am the captain for the Fitness Group Hub at my local church campus.  I lead a small group weekly where 4-20 women show up to hear the words God has placed on my heart to share through fitness boot camp. I am a fitness influencer, coach, motivator, encourager, listener and leader.  

God has BLOWN MY MIND! At the beginning of the year, my dear friend and team leader at church challenged me to pray boldly; to ask God for things I'm not sure he can do (rhetorically).  She challenged me to write them down.  Then she spoke and prayed truth and favor over my life.  She affirmed God would work all things for good because of my bold faith and obedience.

Do you want to know something?  I wrote four big things down.  Four BIG, SCARY, AUDACIOUS prayers.  Eight months into the year, all four of them are in the process of coming true.  I'm not quite ready to share them yet.  I will when it's time.  

This is my point:  God wants to bless you.  The Bible tells us:

• Jeremiah 29:11 ESV "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."
• Psalm 37:4 ESV "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart."
• Philippians 4:19 ESV "And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus."
• Matthew 6:33 ESV "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

God is for you.  He wants to bless you.  He places hopes and dreams in your heart that He wants to fulfill.  Pray.  Trust. Hope. Work. Do.  Obey.

Please join me next time for the last installment of my hope series.  Thanks for reading.

Shift Your Thinking

I talk a lot in my blog and on my Facebook page about embracing a new mindset.  The old days of only being concerned about weight loss are gone.  It's time to shift your thinking.

I believe that all women are beautiful.  I believe that God created us to be so much more than attractive beings for men or others to ogle.  In my opinion, true beauty comes from a) knowing who you are b) embracing your flaws and c) living your purpose.

When we focus solely on the number on the scale, the size of our jeans and the space we take up, we are truly limiting our possibilities.  Frankly, it's exhausting worrying about things like, "am I thin enough? Am I pretty enough?  Will people judge me if I don't look a certain way?"

My pastor at church said something really profound a couple of weeks ago in a sermon.  "Who told you that?  Who told you that you weren't good enough?"

It's so simple, yet so true.  Who set these unreachable standards?  Who gets to decide what's "in or out?" All throughout history, the standard of beauty for women has changed.  But the truest standard of beauty that will never go out of style is one that is ordained by God.  He created you: perfect, beautiful, amazing YOU!

The truth is, when you are secure in who you are and the God who created you to live His purpose for your life, you don't give a flip about what others have to say.  That's the enemy talking.  Don't let him into your thoughts.  Shift your thinking.  

I know all of this is easier said than done. I'm a work in progress when it comes to my thoughts and how they influence my thinking and actions.  

So, as I stated above, when you know WHO you are (I'm fearfully and wonderfully made Psalm 139:14) and you are LIVING your purpose, it becomes easier to EMBRACE your flaws, which is the biggest step in accepting your body and starting to shift your thinking.

Surround yourself with positive people who lift you up and encourage you. Maybe it's time to do a friend-detox.  

Speak kindly about yourself. People laugh when I tell them to speak aloud positive affirmations about their body in the mirror.  But, thoughts become things and the more you outwardly speak positively about your body, the more your mind will follow suit. 

Exercise and eat well because it makes you feel good.  The weight loss and aesthetic improvements will come.  Look, there's nothing wrong with wanting to lose a few pounds or feel better in your clothes.  But I'm telling you, when you focus on improving the health of your body rather than punishing it, making better choices becomes easier and the weight loss will happen.

Love your body the way it is right now.  Don't wait for it to be thinner, leaner or more muscled.  Find things you love about your body and embrace your flaws.  Speaking from experience, no matter how "lean" you get, you will always find things about your appearance that you wish you could change.  Focus on the positive.

If you need some accountability or don't know where to start your journey, I'd love to help.

xoxo, 
Coach Steph

Follow me on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter for motivation, tips and humor.  Reach out to me privately if you're ready to shift your thinking.  

Where do I start?

Congratulations! You've decided to start a fitness/eating/healthier living program.  But you're probably asking yourself, "Where do I start?"

"Where do I start" is the number one question I get as a personal trainer and coach.  Here's a few tips to get you started.

1. What are your goals?
Why are you doing this?  What do you hope to accomplish?  Having a clear vision of your goals is important.

2. What will happen when you reach your goal?
You have a clear goal - great!  What will happen when you get there?  The number one reason people gain weight back after reaching a goal is because they didn't think about the 'after.' What would happen when you met the goal?  Remember, this is the rest of your life.  Don't be shortsighted.

3.  Start small.
Small, consistent habit changes that you can adhere to are the keys to longterm success.  Focus on one habit at a time.  If you don't eat breakfast, work on eating breakfast everyday until that becomes normal for you.  Some habits will take less time to achieve than other.

4.  Celebrate the small victories.
You passed on seconds at dinner because you were satisfied and didn't need anymore food.  Pat yourself on the back!
You did 10 push-ups in a row. Last week you could only do 8.  Celebrate!
You packed your lunch every day for work and felt good about it.  Great job!
Whatever it is that makes you proud for continuing on this journey, celebrate it.  Remember, consistently doing the right things add up to big results.

5.  Create a support network.
Tell people you love and trust what you are doing.  Tell them you need their support when you want to quit.  Tell them to remind you of your goals.  Having the right support will make all the difference.

6.  Keep the negative nellies at an arm's length.
Change is hard.  Sometimes it's even harder for the people in our lives than it is for us. When you decide to make a change in your lifestyle, some people in your life may become negative or downright mean.  Your desire to change is highlighting their decision not to.  That's ok.  Just protect yourself.  Your support network will help you.

7.  Create a mindset of success.
You can do this.  You are worth it.  You are enough. You're doing this for you.  Repeat these things every day in the mirror.  Say them until you believe them.

8.  Get professional help.
There are a lot of trainers and health professionals who are in the business of helping people get healthier.  Do your research.   Ask for referrals.  Interview them.  They are a part of your team and you need to be comfortable opening up and being honest with them so they can help you.  All trainers, nutritionists, dietitians, physicians and health coaches are not created equal.  A true professional will have no problem complying with your need to gather information before you make a decision.

9.  Make a decision.
Your gut is usually right.  If your gut tells you that your trainer, coach, nutritionist, etc is a good fit for you, then go with that.  Do your research, but trust your intuition.

10.  Love yourself.
Self worth and self esteem start at the core with loving who you are, right now, whatever you look or feel like.  If you think losing weight or getting more fit will make someone else like you or love you more, you're wrong.  Loving you, flaws (we all have them) and all is the key to happiness.  When you love you, everything else falls into place.  Love yourself enough to take care of your temple.  It's the only place you have to live.

Reach out if you need more help.

xoxo,
Coach Steph

Comparison is the Thief of Joy

Teddy Roosevelt was a pretty smart guy.  "Comparison is the thief of joy." I feel like this applies to so many areas of our lives.  Specifically, I'm going to speak to fitness and weight loss.

I coached a personal training client yesterday on this topic.  She was finishing her post-workout cardio and cooling down on the treadmill when she asked me, "so how much progress should I be seeing right now?"

This is such a loaded question and I HATE IT!

Do you know why I hate it?  Because no two people are the same.  Because no two bodies metabolize food the same way.  Because no two bodies respond to exercise and weights the same way.  Get the idea?

Comparison is dangerous.  It can take you down a scary path where you start to look at your life and someone else's and decide that their life is better or easier.

When you compare your fitness progress to someone else's, you can take yourself out of the game or delay your success.

I know it's tough not to compare; when you see those amazing 'before and after' ads for weight loss. My company even has a weight loss challenge and we use testimonials to show people what's possible.  That's the key, though.  Be inspired by other people's success.  Don't compare.

Honestly, shows like 'The Biggest Loser' or 'Extreme Weight Loss' don't help either.  Those people are in completely controlled environments with expert help 24/7.  That's just not reality.  Most of those people go home and gain the weight back because they didn't gradually learn how to adopt a new lifestyle.

How can you overcome the desire to compare?  Track your progress! Not just your weight and measurements.

• Take photos - Progress photos, wearing the same clothes, in the same pose at the same time every week.  Put the photos side-by-side.  You'll start to see changes.
• Celebrate the NSVs - Non-scale victories.  How do your clothes fit?  Can you do something you couldn't do when you first started?  Has your health improved? I always recommend clients do a physical inventory when they first start.  What hurts?  What is physically hard to do? What are you unable to do because of your physical condition?  Revisit that list every 4-6 weeks and track your progress that way.
• Track your vital signs - Record your resting heart rate and blood pressure when you first start.  Check them every 4 weeks.  When they improve, that means you are getting healthier.  Yay for you!

These are just a few ways to show yourself that your exercise and healthy eating plan are working.  Be kind to yourself.  Change takes time.  How long had you been eating unhealthy food?  How long did it take you to gain the weight?  It's going to take a while for your body to reset and return to its home state, its homeostasis.  Do you know what homeostasis means?  When internal conditions remain relatively stable and constant. That's balance. When your body is balanced, you will be able to lose or maintain your weight.  

Need some help?  More accountability?  Someone to just listen? I'm here.  Reach out.  I'd love to chat.

Check out YouTube for my video summary on this topic.

xoxo,

Coach Steph

Energy: The Chicken and The Egg of Fitness

I hear it all the time as a personal trainer from prospective clients, "I just don't have the energy to workout." My response every time is, "exercise gives you more energy." Client replies, "But how am I supposed to get the energy to workout and get started?"

What came first: the chicken or the egg?  

You need energy to workout, but how do you workout with no energy?

Most of know we need to exercise on a regular basis, not just for weight loss, but for improved health and to strengthen our cardiovascular system.  Cardiovascular disease is the number one cause of death in the U.S, and the American Heart Association recommends 150 minutes a week of moderate cardiovascular activity or 75 minutes of vigorous activity, or a combination of both.  That's only 25 minutes a day, 6 days a week of moderate exercise: bike riding, walk/jogging, circuit training, HIIT training, etc.

First, let's understand how exercise gives you energy.

According to the Mayo Clinic, "exercise and physical activity deliver oxygen and nutrients to your tissues and help your cardiovascular system work more efficiently. And when your heart and lungs work more efficiently, you have more energy to go about your daily chores."  Makes sense, right?

But, what if it's a struggle for you to find any more energy to start a fitness program?  You know you need to exercise, but between work, school, the kids, volunteer activities, your spouse, etc, you are wiped.

Here's a few tips to help get you started:

1. Start small - don't go into fitness 'all or nothing.' Pick something you can do for 10-15 minutes a day.  A walk, a bike ride, etc.  This doesn't have to happen in a gym.  I live in Florida where it's almost impossible to exercise outside in the summer unless you get up really early.  But, if you can make it work, do it.  

2.  Make a date with yourself - I put my workouts in my calendar. Monday, Wednesday and Friday are circuit training days.  Tuesday and Thursday are straight cardio. Saturday is a run or a boot camp.  Sunday is rest (or maybe shopping LOL).  Walking around Target does not feel like exercise to me!  Making an appointment signifies that fitness is an important part of your day. You schedule doctor appointments, activities for your kids and many other things.  Make fitness a priority, no matter how little time you have.

3.  Pick a schedule you look forward to - remember earlier I said to start small?  Start out with two days a week of an activity that a) gets your heart rate up and b)that you enjoy.  A good rule of thumb is that if you can hold a conversation without pausing for breath, you need to work a little harder.  Slowly build up to 6 days a week of moderate activity for 25 minutes.  It might take you 3 months.  Keep going.  You're improving your health and heart function.

4. Let go of comparison - President Teddy Roosevelt famously said, "comparison is the thief of joy." Teddy was a smart guy.  Do the best you can do, right where you are at this moment, with what you have today.  Someone will always be "better" than you: thinner, more fit, prettier, better at time management, etc.  Just do you.  You are awesome.

5. Any exercise is better than none at all - if you planned to do 30 minutes on the elliptical at the gym, but your boss held you at the end of the day for a project and now you only have 10 minutes before having to pick up your kids at daycare, than do your best work in 10 minutes.  Always have a back up plan.  Here's a quick, 10 minute total body workout that will rev your heart rate and boost your body's fat burning abilities:

30 seconds of jumping jacks
10 bodyweight squats
30 seconds of high knees
5 push-ups (modified or regular)
30 seconds of squat jumps
15 crunches
30 seconds of simulated jump rope
5 walking lunges 
30 seconds running in place
-Repeat as many times as you can in 10 minutes

6.  You are worth it - I know it's tough.  You have a lot of responsibilities. But trust me, you will be a better caretaker and provider for all the important people in your life when you carve out 30 minutes for yourself.  

One more thing...if you still find yourself needing a boost, please message me.  We can talk privately.  I offer free phone consultations to help you get started on your journey.

I was NEVER a supplement person, other than the occasional protein powder after a heavy strength workout. Then, I found SPX Nutri-Thin.  It helped me lose an additional 18 lbs and kick my coffee habit (even though I get up at 4 a.m.)  It gives me energy all day without the jitters. It's all-natural, organic and full of B vitamins.  I take it every day, as does my husband and many of my personal training clients.  If you'd like to hear more about it, please visit getspx.com.  

Hope this info helps you.  Now, get moving!

xoxo,
Coach Stephanie

Smoothie for breakfast? Make it filling!

One of the first questions I get asked as a trainer from new clients is, "what do I eat?" My answer (insert sarcasm), "FOOD!" Just kidding.  Kind of.  

Remember that food is fuel for your body and activity.  It sustains you and gives you energy to do all the activities life has to offer.  Don't make food the enemy or let it become and obsession.  

Think about it this way.  Your car requires gasoline to go.  How far can you get with the wrong grade of gas or with none at all?  You can't. 

Your body is an amazing machine that requires proper nutrition to function at its peak performance.  The best advice I can give you is that when you eat food in its most whole form, i.e. the way it came into the world/least processed, the better nutrition it will provide to your body.  

Getting started on a path to better eating is not easy.  I always recommend to not try to make drastic changes all at once.  If your goal is to start eating breakfast, do that for 21 days and it will become a habit.  If you go too long between meals, set a timer to remind you to eat a serving of almonds or have a cup of yogurt (preferably plain greek yogurt with your own fruit).  It is about the habits that we create that will help us transform our eating longterm (lifestyle change). 

As always, if you need individual help or coaching to make these changes, please reach out to me here through my blog or Facebook.  

My favorite smoothie recipe:
Blend the following ingredients until smooth. I like to freeze the blueberries because they act as the "ice."

8 oz coconut water
1 tbsp organic, unrefined coconut oil
1 tbsp flax seeds
1/2 c strawberries
1/2 c blueberries
1 c kale

This recipe will give you a meal replacement (meals should ideally be between 300-400 calories, depending on your individual caloric needs).

Speak Kindly, Think Positively, Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On

When I think back about how I felt nearly 3 years ago, I get emotional.  I was tired all the time (tired doesn't even BEGIN to describe the fatigue I endured).  I got sick a lot.  None of my clothes fit.  I was uncomfortable.  I was not "fat and happy." I was overweight and miserable.  

Every day I have to make a conscious choice to move my body, choose foods that give my body the nutrition and fuel it needs and be kind to my mind.  

I did a hard workout on Wednesday with my trainer (even trainers have trainers), and I was beating myself up for not being as "in-shape" as I thought I "should" be.  And then I had a flashback to 3 years ago and remembering not being able to get into my 4x4 Jeep because I couldn't lift my bodyweight into the vehicle.  I then smiled because I just did 25 minutes of 40/20 HIIT Training (circuit intervals with weights), something I never would have been able to do 3 years ago.  I also looked in the mirror and reminded myself that I just ran a 15k 3 weeks ago.  My body can do amazing things.

My point to all of this is you have to be kind to yourself.  Don't compare your progress to anyone else's.  There will be days you don't feel worthy. Just remember your WHY.  WHY are you getting healthier?  WHY are you exercising?  WHY are you choosing more nutritious foods?  Whatever your reasons, just take a minute, inhale, exhale and speak kindly to your body and your mind.  

This is a tough journey. Probably the hardest thing I've ever done, and maybe that you'll ever do.  But it is worth it.  I believe in each and every one of you.  Believe in yourself.  

How can I help you reach your goals?

Yours in health,
Coach Steph xoxo

New Posts are Coming...Good Stuff for the New Year

Hi everyone! I know it's been a couple of months since my last post. I started a series and left you all hanging, and for that, I am sorry. I have been busy with lots of projects and have neglected my blog. I feel really awful about that. In addition to my heavy workload, I have been through some personal issues that have distracted me from my life's work.  But, I will continue the series, as these women's stories are very important and relevant for all of us. Additionally, I have some great topics plan for you for January. Please stay tuned!

Merry Christmas and happy holidays!

Xoxo,
Coach Stephanie

Inspiring Woman #1 - Real Women, Real Struggles, Real Inspiration Series

It's here! The first in a series of four blog posts about real women taking control of their self-image, fitness and health.  Every other week I'll bring you a story from a woman just like you and me who is just trying to love her self, be healthy and take back the notion that we have to be "perfect" to be fit and healthy.

Meet Brittany Arroyo:

Brittany is a nationally certified personal trainer (ACSM) out of Viera, FL and has been dedicated to changing her body and self-image through heavy weightlifting. 

Brittany has a history of eating disorders and being unkind to her body.  Through her fitness and wellness journey, she has been at war with the most powerful "muscle" in her body: her mind.  

Brittany counsels clients, friends and family members about health and fitness issues and has shared what she herself and others deal with.  She also gives her personal philosophy on coaching clients with diet and exercise.

Below is Brittany's personal and candid narrative of these trials and triumphs.  

Disordered Eating/Body Dysmorphia 

"I have a long past of disordered eating and body dysmorphia. While I am much healthier now, I find myself constantly berating myself (too fat, too many calories, not strong enough, not pretty enough, the list goes on). I say things to myself that I would never imagine saying to a loved one or client,  and yet since I've started working in the fitness industry, I've heard many women (and some men) say these things aloud about themselves. Most of the time it's in a joking manner, but I recognize the hurt and pain behind it, as it is my own. 

My struggle is with myself; how do I preach body love and acceptance when I don't accept and love my own body? On the flip side, how do I encourage healthy living and weight without creating unhealthy thought patterns and habits in the process?

I don't remember a time when I've felt comfortable with my body. I stopped eating in high school.  It got to a point where my parents intervened.  They said, 'get better or we're getting you professional help.'  I did go to therapy, but I wasn't ready to deal with it.

People pass judgement that mental health is internal.  As a society, we're bombarded with images and media. Appearance is important. I was raised in a loving home with supportive parents.  I was always comparing myself to others.  I think about it everyday.

I have a PT client in her 50s.  She's really fit but wants to look better.  She told me she's had liposuction and cosmetic surgery.  She only weighs 120 pounds yet still sees a fat person in the mirror.  I want my clients to accept and better themselves.  I want them to stop seeing unmet unrealistic expectations as failure. 

I need to find balance. I'm working on that and self-awareness.  I didn't even acknowledge the problems and the thought process until 1.5 years ago.  People want to train with me because of the knowledge and experience I have.  It's funny the way other people perceive us is not how we see ourselves.

Unhealthy Patterns on Nights and Weekends

"I struggle with not falling into the binge/restrict cycle. I eat super clean on weekdays, all day long and then night-time or the weekend rolls around and I lose my dang mind. I struggle daily to find a balance between being 'on' or 'off.'" 

Teaching Healthy Habits

"Tracking and calorie counting can lead to obsessive behavior.  'Cheat days' can be very detrimental.  I give general guidelines that will work for most people.  2-3 meals a week, eat whatever you want.  I try to screen people and be aware of triggers or red flags with clients.  I keep track and find out the WHY behind why people want to lose weight or get fit. 

I feel like disordered eating is very common.  We've come to accept strange habits as normal.  Juice cleanses, restrictive food habits and 'trendy diets' are all accepted as normal.  Hollywood perpetuates them.  Every person is a personal trainer and expert.  There's so much misinformation on the internet. I only read articles with scientific notation.  If there's no study to back it up, it's just conjecture.  I give resources with legitimate professionals in the industry."   

Working Out is 'All or Nothing'

"I am fairly good about this one.  My clients and friends, not so much. I find many people think they need to workout 7 days a week for an hour or more or else it's useless and they might as well do nothing. I try to emphasize that something is always better than nothing and more is not better but better is better when it comes to fitness.

Most of my clients think that if they can't do the perfect workout, then they shouldn't bother.  Effectiveness of your workout is more important than how long it is.  I give clients at home workouts to do in their off days.  Quickie workouts to create a habit. 

Set a minimum amount of days to workout, whether at home or they gym, and stick to it.  2-3 days at a minimum is my recommendation."

Brittany's Biggest Epiphany

"Lift weights.  Nothing will change your life more than to put weights on a barbell and lift. Lifting weights is the key to looking better, feeling better and thinking better.   I'm most proud of being able to deadlift 1.5 times my body weight and squat over 200 lbs.  I feel strong and powerful."

---Brittany Arroyo, ACSM Certified Trainer
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Committed to continuing education. PT is a science and exercise changes all the time.

Thank you to Brittany Arroyo for your candid testimony and advice to women and men.  Trainers are people too and no one is perfect.  When we stop comparing ourselves to others, we can start to achieve balance.  

Please join us in two weeks for our next profile of and inspiring woman.

Inspiring Woman #2

Perri G - Wife, Mother and Full-Time Chauffeur

Perri became a mom at age 40.  Blessed beyond measure, she struggles with having time to workout, eat well and achieve balance with her mom, wife and work duties.  I think a lot of people can really relate to Perri's story.  She and her husband are trying to be good examples of self-love and healthy body image to their son.  I hope to help Perri find solutions for her busy life, and in turn, help you make exercise and meal planning a priority in your own life.

Thanks for reading my blog this week.  This project is really important to me. I think we need to be talking about our body and food issues.  The only way the rhetoric will change is if we demand it to.  Love your body.  Love your exercise.  Love yourself.

Yours in health,
Coach Stephanie
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I offer private online and offline coaching.
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www.spxworks.com

Are You Eating Enough?

When sitting with a new client for a nutrition consultation, I always ask them to keep a 3-day food journal of what they eat and drink for three consecutive days.  One of the things most of my clients who are struggling with weight loss have in common is that they DO NOT EAT ENOUGH.

Yes, you read that right.  You have to eat to lose weight.

Your body requires fuel.  It is a magnificent machine.  But, you have to feed it right to get the results you want.

I did a phone consultation with a weight loss client today.  She told me she had hit a plateau and was no longer losing.  I asked her what an average day looked like.  She gave me this food journal entry:

Breakfast - granola bar, 140-150 calories, 32 oz of water
Lunch - Salad with greens and grilled or baked meat, 400 calories
Dinner - anything I can get my hands on.  I'm starving.

Anyone see the problem here?  My client isn't eating enough. By the time dinner rolls around, her blood sugar is so low and her body is starving, so she eats the most satisfying, quick food she can get - simple carbohydrates.

Most women are afraid to eat.  Afraid that 300-400 calories at a meal will make them fat.  WRONG.  What's making you fat is you're starving your body. Be good to it, feed it, and you will start to see the scale move.

Food journaling is a very effective tool for weight loss.  Simply writing down in a notebook what you eat each day will help you see trends in your habits.  There are also apps for smartphones and websites that help you keep track.  Whatever helps you keep yourself accountable, do it.  Don't go crazy obsessing over calories, but keeping track of what you eat will make you aware of how much you're actually consuming.

Mayo Clinic has a calorie estimator on their website.  Your daily caloric needs depend on your height, weight, sex, age and daily activity level.  As long as you eat close to your calories needed per day and moderately exercise, the scale should move.

Keep these tips in mind too:

1. Never go more than three hours without eating. When you eat a snack in between your meals (Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner), it helps your stabilize your blood sugar and will help you avoid binges that happen when you wait until you are starving to eat.

 

2. Use fruit as fuel for exercise. Best time to eat fruit: first thing in the morning with protein or 30 minutes before a workout for fuel. Fruit is very good for you and full of nutrients, but it is a sugar and when not paired with a protein, it can spike your blood sugar and leave you unsatisfied and hungry an hour later.

 

3. Explore new vegetables. One of the main complaints people have when starting to eat better is boredom with food. There are so many vegetables and countless ways to cook them.

So be adventurous, visit your local farmer's market and try something new!

 

4. Stick to proteins and veggies at all of your meals. Vegetables are a great source of carbohydrates and are very nutritious. Simple carbohydrates (potatoes, white bread, white rice, pasta, sugar, corn), when not used as a fuel, turn to fat in the body when not used as fuel. Your best bet is to eat simple carbs sparingly.

 

Along with a healthy diet, all-natural, healthy supplements can accelerate your weight loss.  I have a lot of clients who take Nutri-Thin, Nutri-Cleanse and Sea Veg as a part of their weight loss plan.  Check them out for yourself.  

 

I'd love to help you reach your goals.  Follow me on Twitter, Like me on Facebook, or shoot me an email. 

Yours in health,

Stephanie

 

Momma said there'd be days like this...

Ok, so momma wasn't talking about weight loss, or working out, or nutrition, but I am.

I texted with a client today, checking in on her since we missed a workout last week due to the 4th of July and me taking a day off.  She was excited, as usual, (she has an awesome attitude and a great smile) to jump into a new week of training.  I reminded her to bring her new playlist so we could blare it in the gym.  Then, she replied to me with this:

"I went really off track this weekend with my eating, but I'm even more motivated now to do better.  I know I'll feel it tomorrow.  It almost feels like I gave up on myself and that it's totally not worth it."

Hold up.

I wear a lot of hats as trainer.  I create awesome and challenging workouts that push my clients farther than they believed they could go.  I motivate, always with a smile and tough love.  I help my clients stay on track with nutrition and diet and give them tips to keep eating healthy.  I'm tough as hell on them, but I want them to reach their goals as much as they do.

But somedays, I'm a friend and a listener.  I have to remind my clients how worthy they are of the life they're working toward.  Today, I had to fight the urge to have a knee-jerk reaction and spout motivation and just listen and ask questions.

So I replied to her, "What do you think caused you to go that far off?"  If I were sitting with her in person, I would have leaned in and given her my full attention.  

She told me this, "Just the struggle of always being good, July 4th and not feeling like what I'm doing is good enough.  I just completely gave up on myself this weekend.  It's so easy to give in when everyone else is ok with it."

Just a few thoughts here.  This young woman is remarkable.  She's building a successful career and getting married next year (I'm so excited to attend her wedding).  She had already lost 50 pounds before we started working together by making changes to her diet and moving more.  By the time we connected,  she was ready to work with a trainer who would hold her accountable but also push her and help her reach her goals.  She wanted to lose more weight, tone up, and feel and look amazing in her wedding dress (which she will, she's beautiful already).

If this gal was sitting in front of me, this is what I would tell her.  If her story and feelings are similar to yours, I would say these things to you, too.

1.  You are beautiful, worthy and enough. Do not give up on becoming the healthiest and fittest you for the fleeting feeling of doubt that will come and go as you continue on your journey.

2. Do not ever second-guess your decision to get healthy.  You are making an investment in your temple.  You are improving the vehicle to live your best life.  Never feel bad about that.

3. You will have set-backs.  We are human and fallible.  We need support sometimes to keep going.  If this is you, find someone who supports you and your goals that you can reach out to when you're feeling bad.

Ok, so after that text I wanted to wrap my arms around her. I hate that we (speaking for myself here too) only feel validated or worthy by the numbers in our jeans.  I tell clients all day long to never forget how much progress they've made.  I'm human, too.  I have days where I look in the mirror and pick myself apart.  But, then I pull out my before photo, and remind myself how I used to feel and how far I've come, and I instantly smile.  That is what I'd say to her; just remember, smile and keep going.

She continued to tell me some other things on her mind, and then we got to the heart of the matter: she tried on some clothes at a trendy store on a shopping trip and was disappointed by how she looked and that she wasn't quite comfortable with how she looked and fit in them yet.

Now I really wanted to hug her.  Ladies, this is especially geared toward you so listen up.

It is going to take time for your mind to see how you really look.  Our eyes are so used to seeing us a certain way in the mirror. Even as we become smaller and more toned, we will always be our biggest critics.  It doesn't matter how many people tell us how great we look and how much progress we've made, we still don't quite believe it.  

The thing I want to tell you is you have to start believing that you are beautiful! You were beautiful when you weighed a little more, and you're beautiful now.  

Homework assignment:  stand in front of the mirror and say aloud something you like about yourself.   Say it until you believe it.  I know it sounds cheesy, but every day I tell myself how awesome my big butt it is; I love it! Ok I'm being a little silly, but I do! And I'm proud of how fit my body is and how many things it can do.  I also have a great smile (thanks mom and dad for all the dental work lol).

What do you love about yourself, physically or otherwise? Only say good things about you. No negative talk.  Don't leave your mirror until you believe the words that are coming out of your mouth.   This is not narcissism.  This is self-love.

Ladies (and guys too), love yourself.  Love your amazing body.  My client can now do three sets of regular push-ups.  When we started working together in January, she could barely do one.  That is amazing!

Change takes time.  Be kind to yourself.  Don't get so caught up in the end result that you miss the journey.  Reflect on the changes.  Love yourself.

Yours in health,
Stephanie